Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
Duuuuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fruuuuuuuuck. and by that i mean fuuuck
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
Randomize
