so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
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