He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
Boob shaped ice luge is ordered for my bday. Boom
I can't even drink.
The liquor comes out the nipples. Out. The. Nipples.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Randomize
