Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
He was like a Bill Nye the science guy of sex....he was telling me things about my clitoris that I didn't even know
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
She said it was unconventional for me to yell "Shazam!!" when I came inside her.
i now understand why vodka
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
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