you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
Apparently I was playing rock paper scissors against myself for 2 hours in the bathroom mirror.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
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