I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
it's like I can see my whorish nature reflected back at me in his wedding ring.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
Ccatlin cimbing thru th sunroof plz come
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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