Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
Randomize
