she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
I think we might need a safe word for this...
Randomize
