I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
First funeral I've ever been to where the cops had to come.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
If I woke up in a pillar of smoke I suppose that's a sign right
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