I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
