Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
the bruises from climbing out of the window last night make sitting at my desk impossible. legit excuse to not study right?
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
Woke up backwards on a recliner
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Randomize
