Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
Let's get matching tattoos, something that resembles our friendship
A tequila worm?
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Randomize
