White coat. Heels.
So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
I'm gonna write a book. Almost Awesome: all the times I ALMOST got laid.
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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