She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
Randomize
