Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
Is Oprah even human
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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