I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
