so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
I head back to the dorms in less than a week I'm not ready to see my roomate naked that much again.
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize