is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
I woke up naked with a duck on my head. I think something went horribly wrong.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
