I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
hey, just so we're clear, next time we go swimming drunk at my house, we have to use the floating chairs instead of my mattress. i'm not sure how to get it out of the pool.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
