3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
cell reception changed and I can no longer text you from the toilet... that means I'll be texting you less often, just fyi
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
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