I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she hid the dish soap because she was afraid someone would confuse it with the margaritas and drink it instead. her reasoning was "theyre both soo pink...i cant tell them apart"
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
maybe facebook could make a notification like "someone tagged a photo of that guy you used to bang and still think is really hot with his shirt off"
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Randomize