i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ
Randomize
