So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
