He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
I am pretty sure we beat baby seals over the head in a past life. That is why we are being punished.
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
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