Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
My night ended with a French cab driver offering me his sperm free of cost.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
Randomize
