Why are you at a bar in Connecticut?
Long story. One that now involves lots of delicious chicken wings om nom nom
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
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