the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
Just stole my moms weed, left a note saying sorry.. Hope she isn't mad.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
