lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
If I had to summarise my weekend I would do so using the words "horrifying romanian moonshine"
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
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