My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
It's not kidnapping if it's romantic
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
And when he pulled me off the bathroom floor, he just looked at the cat litter stuck to my chin and said "oh sweetie" and shook his head. I think my dad's officially given up hope.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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