haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
Even after projectile vomiting watermelon on the beach, it still sounds appetizing.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Randomize
