I haven't been this sober since birth.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Randomize
