I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
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