Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
You were plastered and wouldn't stop telling this hot girl about your plan to graffiti a church in easter colored spray-paint saying that Jesus was a Zombie... she kept saying her father was a pastor...
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
Randomize
