hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
I have already put on my inside pants.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
