I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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