yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
I just experienced a full blown christian wedding. I am SO GLAD YOUR WEDDING WASNT THIS.
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
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