ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
i fell into a bathtub last night and broke the fall with my forehead. my forehead is bruised
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
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