your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
Food lion is just a portal. Cheetos are the goal. Its like not banging a super hot chick cause she is french. She still has the same parts just from a different box.
Now I am going to fly my toy helicopter in the dark.
I have grass duct taped all over my body
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
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