im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
My life is pants optional.
Randomize
