Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
