Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
its safe to say i can delete the contact in my phone "brandon random bus make out" from spring break right?
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced
Gold rum. Strong marijuana. Jabba the Hut in stilettos. Deep thigh bruise. Yes, thal all happened. Sorry dude.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?