Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
it seems as if every mistake i've ever made in life i've had an errection in one hand and a bud light in the other
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"