O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
Randomize
