If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
I just watched a stripper purchase $43 of Rockstar and corn nuts. Godamnit! We need helmet cams.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
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