you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
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I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
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Pants-less sunday? Also I'm high and independence day is making me cry
im coming over
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
I just saw a cat, if i ate those mushrooms 15 minutes earlier i wouldn't have made it to the bar
Success! We fucked roommates!
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
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