Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
How do you confess that you've had phone sex with your fiancé's brother's ex-girlfriend's new guy she's dating who has also slept with your best friend?
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
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