I cockslap morals
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
Do toy wanna orseer frim onedof tjose plaves? Sry textimg with globes on
Gloves*
Out of all the words to correct, you chose gloves??
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
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