You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
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