There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
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