he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
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