Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
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