you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
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