how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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