Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Getting up is taking longer than anticipated. Alcoholic fish bowls have made getting out of bed a multitstep process.
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize