Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
You were lost on foot. Texted us and told us that N*Sync couldn't save you, and then you "met Jesus" in your car.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
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