Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
I got the shit slapped outta me last night but the pain in my jaw doesn’t even compare to the hangover I have.
Randomize
