Taylor Swift is so right about you.
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
The one night I bring a girl home you leave the footloose soundtrack playing.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Randomize
