Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
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So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
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shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
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