plz talk dirty to me
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
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