About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
Just ducktaped my beer to my bike. See you in ten.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
I need water and some morals
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Randomize
