do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
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