Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(732): View more from New Jersey

is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?

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(732): is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side? http://tfl.nu/sml7

Replies (97) Good night (1006) Bad night (2575)
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(804): View more from Virginia

I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.

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(804): I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore. http://tfl.nu/hody

Replies (16) Good night (4027) Bad night (713)
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(916): View more from California

i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget

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(916): i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget http://tfl.nu/82uy

Replies (7) Good night (4068) Bad night (1057)
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(678): View more from Georgia

Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."

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(678): Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages." http://tfl.nu/1o45

Replies (24) Good night (1741) Bad night (14545)
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(513): View more from Ohio

I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?

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(513): I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means? http://tfl.nu/ni5g

Replies (12) Good night (4137) Bad night (1022)
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(513): View more from Ohio

He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.

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(513): He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ. http://tfl.nu/zyza

Replies (13) Good night (3379) Bad night (1060)
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(904): View more from Florida

he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?

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(904): he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french? http://tfl.nu/ofgx

Replies (26) Good night (7536) Bad night (1074)
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(619): View more from California

Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.

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(619): Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance. http://tfl.nu/l10e

Replies (5) Good night (1412) Bad night (1242)
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(928): View more from Arizona

If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.

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(928): If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself. http://tfl.nu/jcct

Replies (5) Good night (1354) Bad night (986)
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(910): View more from North Carolina

My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.

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(910): My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete. http://tfl.nu/yj31

Replies (2) Good night (3078) Bad night (625)
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(347): View more from New York

I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.

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(347): I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong. http://tfl.nu/uiaa

Replies (15) Good night (1900) Bad night (699)
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(303): View more from Colorado

Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.

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(303): Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent. http://tfl.nu/patp

Replies (2) Good night (1023) Bad night (537)
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(813): View more from Florida

Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.

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(813): Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over. http://tfl.nu/p98p

Replies (4) Good night (1032) Bad night (397)
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(520): View more from Arizona

Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?

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(520): Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!? http://tfl.nu/m57n

Replies (3) Good night (750) Bad night (449)
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(306): View more from Saskatchewan

but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.

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(306): but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal. http://tfl.nu/so21

Replies (6) Good night (717) Bad night (269)

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