My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
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