This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
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We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
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He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back