Texts From Last Night

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  (301): View more from Maryland

  Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.

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  (301): Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached. http://tfl.nu/7q2p
  Replies (3) Good night (1604) Bad night (482)
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  (502): View more from Kentucky

  I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.

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  (502): I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away. http://tfl.nu/vvbq
  Replies (4) Good night (2978) Bad night (646)
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  (541): View more from Oregon

  He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes

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  (541): He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes http://tfl.nu/g6v6
  Replies (19) Good night (612) Bad night (3535)
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  (608): View more from Wisconsin

  he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.

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  (608): he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily. http://tfl.nu/l76l
  Replies (40) Good night (4151) Bad night (4809)
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  (973): View more from New Jersey

  so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement

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  (973): so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement http://tfl.nu/oky4
  Replies (12) Good night (4786) Bad night (1446)
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  (281): View more from Texas

  Thanks for getting me home last night.

  (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.

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  (281): Thanks for getting me home last night. (832): No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa. http://tfl.nu/wftp
  Replies (29) Good night (9050) Bad night (1052)
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  (615): View more from Tennessee

  i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket

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  (615): i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket http://tfl.nu/krhl
  Replies (14) Good night (2603) Bad night (3827)
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  (519): View more from Ontario

  you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.

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  (519): you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner. http://tfl.nu/pwti
  Replies (7) Good night (3514) Bad night (720)
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight?

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  (+44): Where are you, who is in my bed, why is he wearing a spandex onesie as underwear, how did i get teethmarks on my forehead, what are we doing tonight? http://tfl.nu/0o8e
  Replies (7) Good night (4032) Bad night (694)
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  (419): View more from Ohio

  My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong

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  (419): My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong http://tfl.nu/lmgu
  Replies (10) Good night (1816) Bad night (682)
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  (401): View more from Rhode Island

  It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.

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  (401): It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss. http://tfl.nu/0y0a
  Replies (1) Good night (1169) Bad night (1159)
• Favorite

  (415): View more from California

  We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.

  (916): View more from California

  Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.

  (415): View more from California

  HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.

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  (415): We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002. (916): Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening. (415): HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone. http://tfl.nu/fe9v
  Replies (15) Good night (1789) Bad night (681)
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  (276): View more from Virginia

  I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....

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  (276): I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra.... http://tfl.nu/gorr
  Replies (14) Good night (1470) Bad night (527)
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  (413): View more from Massachusetts

  RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??

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  (413): RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay?? http://tfl.nu/ikcs
  Replies (13) Good night (629) Bad night (1373)
• Favorite

  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now

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  (978): At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now http://tfl.nu/9tr0
  Replies (7) Good night (417) Bad night (780)

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