I feel like I'm in dance class right now
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
I woke up around 30 bottles of beer, with a piece of aluminum foil in my hand, that had "you Win" Wrote in sharpie..
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
25 Of The Most Cringeworthy Internet Stalking Fails
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
luckily my workout playlist doubles as a masturbation playlist.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
21 People Who Barely Escaped Death
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....