Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(713): View more from Texas

Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing?

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(713): Ha. No worries! So loud here &god I love drag queens! How does it happen, the congealing? http://tfl.nu/g5e5

Replies (1) Good night (1172) Bad night (624)
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(248): View more from Michigan

I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.

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(248): I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose. http://tfl.nu/ckrs

Replies (12) Good night (1262) Bad night (695)
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(310): View more from California

what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?

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(310): what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'? http://tfl.nu/9kgd

Replies (95) Good night (2141) Bad night (3311)
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(+44): View more from England

Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying

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(+44): Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying http://tfl.nu/14fx

Replies (62) Good night (6668) Bad night (917)
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(774): View more from Massachusetts

My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.

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(774): My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight. http://tfl.nu/ukm0

Replies (20) Good night (4880) Bad night (961)
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(952): View more from Minnesota

I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now

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(952): I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now http://tfl.nu/4ogy

Replies (11) Good night (3797) Bad night (975)
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(407): View more from Florida

Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.

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(407): Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills. http://tfl.nu/wclx

Replies (9) Good night (1573) Bad night (2114)
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(419): View more from Ohio

He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.

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(419): He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab. http://tfl.nu/4t90

Replies (7) Good night (1541) Bad night (692)
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(585): View more from New York

The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.

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(585): The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many. http://tfl.nu/e659

Replies (6) Good night (1266) Bad night (510)
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(402): View more from Nebraska

Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab

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(402): Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab http://tfl.nu/rn99

Replies (3) Good night (786) Bad night (429)
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(307): View more from Wyoming

Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.

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(307): Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS. http://tfl.nu/6kx3

Replies (8) Good night (1538) Bad night (510)
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(425): View more from Washington

we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'

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(425): we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul' http://tfl.nu/04nj

Replies (3) Good night (1097) Bad night (463)
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(402): View more from Nebraska

I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.

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(402): I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate. http://tfl.nu/efz3

Replies (5) Good night (617) Bad night (355)
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(740): View more from Ohio

Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.

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(740): Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer. http://tfl.nu/j7d4

Replies (1) Good night (533) Bad night (254)
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(325): View more from Texas

I put a zucchini in my pussy for you

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(325): I put a zucchini in my pussy for you http://tfl.nu/c2jl

Replies (8) Good night (456) Bad night (587)

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