Texts From Last Night

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  (808): View more from Hawaii

  i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.

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  (808): i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon. http://tfl.nu/roae
  Replies (12) Good night (986) Bad night (1199)
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  (443): View more from Maryland

  Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?

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  (443): Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach? http://tfl.nu/arsp
  Replies (31) Good night (2159) Bad night (3394)
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  (207): View more from Maine

  do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?

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  (207): do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam? http://tfl.nu/5qkv
  Replies (31) Good night (996) Bad night (5559)
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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal

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  (412): I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal http://tfl.nu/ode2
  Replies (66) Good night (2293) Bad night (4623)
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  (309): View more from Illinois

  it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...

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  (309): it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with... http://tfl.nu/q2va
  Replies (23) Good night (6279) Bad night (1291)
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  (716): View more from New York

  just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.

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  (716): just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that. http://tfl.nu/r8dq
  Replies (22) Good night (1913) Bad night (5972)
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  (716): View more from New York

  He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.

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  (716): He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves. http://tfl.nu/0275
  Replies (6) Good night (3334) Bad night (1140)
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  (509): View more from Washington

  Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.

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  (509): Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it. http://tfl.nu/ou1a
  Replies (3) Good night (2599) Bad night (807)
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  (330): View more from Ohio

  I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face

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  (330): I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face http://tfl.nu/xoka
  Replies (7) Good night (795) Bad night (976)
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  (856): View more from New Jersey

  She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.

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  (856): She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group. http://tfl.nu/inny
  Replies (11) Good night (547) Bad night (798)
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  (410): View more from Maryland

  Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"

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  (410): Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men" http://tfl.nu/o2lw
  Replies (1) Good night (529) Bad night (398)
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  (425): View more from Washington

  He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard

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  (425): He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard http://tfl.nu/s58l
  Replies (0) Good night (1242) Bad night (356)
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  (986): View more from

  He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?

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  (986): He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me? http://tfl.nu/140p
  Replies (11) Good night (262) Bad night (574)
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  (410): View more from Maryland

  I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later

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  (410): I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later http://tfl.nu/m51y
  Replies (0) Good night (409) Bad night (203)
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  (520): View more from Arizona

  I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother

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  (520): I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother http://tfl.nu/k9l1
  Replies (0) Good night (599) Bad night (178)

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