Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
Oh my god, I totally forgot we call your penis "Godzilla's Tail".
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
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