Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
Randomize