I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
i dont even know how to be here
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
Congratulations! We have a period
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