It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
ISS teacher has a tramp stamp.
Shotgun.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
I think I'm getting too used to throwing up in the reception trash can. It doesn't even phase me anymore
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
